Is it really happening? A sports fanatic questioning whether or not the Super Bowl matters. I’m not going off or on medication folks. Not quite there, but I am a bit saddened at how this event has played out. The powers that be back in the old AFL and NFL days that started this one game didn’t imagine that it would become the biggest game and event of the world. In those days the NFL had the far superior teams until the third and fourth installments in which the AFL teams won. They both came to an understanding, merged and the rest is history. Now though, you have much more involved than just the game and that bothers me.

Television is one of the greatest inventions of all time. I love it. I also hate it. The love-hate relationship is very obvious in the Super Bowl. You don’t need to be there to appreciate the game. You can relax on the couch with your party trays and enjoy the moments where you are comfortable. Not next to a guy who’s had at least six beers before the game and has another six with his tray of hot dogs, nachos and fixens with all the other yahoos who spent way too much just to be there. To avoid that, I love television.

Why do I hate it? For one, the endless breaks or what they call commercials. I get that it gives you the chance for a bathroom break. That’s what the halftime show is for. The Super Bowl commercials have also lost their sex appeal the last six years or so. I get that you need to see the newest car or have the ones to remind you to fill up your glass with a cold one, but they have lost their creativity in relaying the message. You do rarely get the “Tide Stain” or “Bud Light Lobster” or even a fan made one inspired by Doritos. Something about a giant mouse beating the crap out of a guy for Doritos just says a lot for me. But no, we have to have movie previews, stupid show promos for the network, and the new craze will be 3-D. To quote that creepy Mens Warehouse guy, “I guarantee” 3-D will be the next big thing. I mean if your going to shell out over 2.5 million dollars for the spot, go back to your roots. Funny sells more than shock and awe. They will remember it longer too.

You would think that having two weeks of coverage for a football game would be a dream of mine that has finally come true. Hell no and my kind of dream involves me either playing in the game or calling the game. Who the hell wants to talk about it for two weeks? Well the geniuses in the NFL apparently. Radio row is where all the major sports talk shows descend upon the site city to talk and talk endlessly about the game that will take about three and a half hours of their lives. ESPN and NFL Network have made it their mission to make you not want to watch the game as they talk day after day about Dwight Freeney’s freaking ankle. There hasn’t been this much attention on an ankle since Curt Schilling’s bloody sock (which I still think was ketchup). Analysts are over-analyzing, which they do all the time, but I mean if two weeks isn’t enough. You have to talk about the same stuff for up to six hours the day of the game before kickoff. Thank goodness the Pro Bowl was in between because I would’ve thrown in the towel a lot sooner.

I’m not an expert on the entertainment aspect of the halftime show, but I always thought the spectacle that it is was not supposed to have some 60 years or over talent. Rolling Stones, Springsteen, Tom Petty and The Who? Yeah, 20 years ago, but this is supposed to get people to not leave for the restrooms and stick around for the show. I’m not saying bring back the stupid rapping with their pants on the ground act. Some R&B acts would work. Usher to name one. Mix in some country artists like Carrie Underwood. Green Day wouldn’t be bad or some new age rock group. I’m not gonna endorse any Disney created bands. No way. We can all blame Janet Jackson for this debacle. The NFL wants nothing to do with it anymore and the networks don’t want a threat of fines coming their way. Point being we all suffer and I can’t believe it still matters who performs in between halves. Do you? Am I the only one?

It becomes clear that we will endure the constant coverage, endless breaks, and stupid music shows for the foreseeable future. All in all you will spend just as much on party supplies, food and that big screen rental for your Super Bowl party as the sponsors do for a 30 second spot. You will be sitting watching those certain 3-D commercials without any stupid 3-D glasses. You might get to see that occasional good commercial, but you will only get to see it once.

Just when it looks to get worse, the halftime show is a perfect time to recharge your batteries and get another cold one. You begin to realize that the analysts won’t spend two weeks talking about the game itself when it’s over. Someone in the crowd is doused with beer and hot dogs from the drunken idiot who tailgated too hard. Your wallet is still full and your bank account is just the way you left it. When all you care about is the game itself, thank the genius who came up with that great gadget called the DVR. Parts of the event are overrated, but when you want to see a good game there is no better event than the Super Bowl. It only comes once a year.